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Tricking A Nun/ A Swedish Student.

Started by dieknowsawr, February 28, 2011, 07:38:08 PM

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dieknowsawr



A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."



Kryptonite


Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 06:21:22 PM
Quote from: X on April 18, 2012, 06:20:22 PM
Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 05:59:45 PM
Da fuq are you doing in a graffiti painted hobo dungeon for?

weed
Just lost all the respect I once had for you.




Kryptonite


Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 06:21:22 PM
Quote from: X on April 18, 2012, 06:20:22 PM
Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 05:59:45 PM
Da fuq are you doing in a graffiti painted hobo dungeon for?

weed
Just lost all the respect I once had for you.



Sad Panda

Nah. Owned is just owned. Pwned is perfectly owned.

Insomnom

|: It's just a misspelling of "owned". Like "teh" is of "the".

Anyhow, lol'd at the first one.
Second one was okay.
"There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." -L. J. Peter

Made by Pride.

Sad Panda

I dont actually laugh out loud. In fact my face is like a brick most times. On the rare occasion I will say "lol". When I do you've made mr laugh.

Insomnom

I'm going to call you Sad Panda from now on.
"There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." -L. J. Peter

Made by Pride.

Sad Panda


Danny




Sad Panda

Good. I like it. It has a certain ring to it.

Insomnom

That is going to throw me off so much now.


Anyywwaaayyy..
"There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." -L. J. Peter

Made by Pride.

Sad Panda

Uhmmmm you're confused? 'Cuse me? I'm the one with the new name here..

Kryptonite


Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 06:21:22 PM
Quote from: X on April 18, 2012, 06:20:22 PM
Quote from: Recoil on April 18, 2012, 05:59:45 PM
Da fuq are you doing in a graffiti painted hobo dungeon for?

weed
Just lost all the respect I once had for you.



Insomnom

Meat is a slang word for *****. |:

Edit: lol @ correct term censor.
"There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." -L. J. Peter

Made by Pride.