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A Guy Walks Into a Bar...

Started by Sad Panda, February 27, 2011, 11:48:31 AM

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Sad Panda

A guy walks into a bar and see a jar full of $10 bills. He asks the bartender what is was for.

"Well we have a series of challenges here. If you get through all three then you get all the money in the jar." the bartender replied.
"What are the challenges?" the man asked.
"First, you have to drink a gallonn of tequila in under an hour. Second, you have to pull a loose tooth out of a bull out back. And third, you have to have sex with an 87 year old virgin woman. If you do all that then you get the entire jar. It costs $10 to enter."
"Hell no!" the man exclaimed.

The man ordered a few beers and drank them quickly. He was getting a little buzzed now. He got a few more and then put $10 in the jar. The bartender gave him the gallon of tequila and he downed it in under in hour. The bartender pointed to a door to the back alley where the bull was waiting. The man walked out and started to try. For a few minutes there was a lot of ruckus, but then, all of the sudden, the noise stopped. After a few minutes the man still didn't come in. A few more minutes they thought he was dead and started to call 911, but he walked in.

Then he asked "Where's the lady with the loose tooth?"

Insomnom

Ha. Poor bull.



A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman.
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" 


"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."


Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"


"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. 


"What's it telling you now?"


"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties…"


The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!" 


The man exclaims, "Damnâ€"it must be broken again. It's always running an hour fast!"
"There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." -L. J. Peter

Made by Pride.

Sad Panda

Crafty, my good sir. Very crafty.


{I'm addressing the man in the story, not you Jazmin}

Dug

'Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.' - Dr. Martin Luther King
Ryan, Jeremy, Jake, Jose, Kevin, Oscar, Wouter, Marcio, Andy, Alex, Alex[Kumkwat], Luke, Avery, Kyle, Mazen, Omar, Connor, Tyren, Amanda, Stephani, Maxi, Aaron, Jeremy(ramp), Sean, Ramón, Kevin(tom), Dylan, Ross, Bill, Maarten, RATMAN, COLESHOT, RYAN1, I HAZ BACKUP, White Angel,  ALL OF YOU ROCK THE WORLD AND MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE. Mo is what makes me feel.
My Skype username = Private! Get away :(
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â"Œâˆ©â"(●_●)â"Œâˆ©â"ï»¿ To all you nice pop song haters..

Drunk Mario

Quote from: Insomnom on February 27, 2011, 12:09:50 PM
A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman.
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" 


"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."


Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"


"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. 


"What's it telling you now?"


"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties…"


The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!" 


The man exclaims, "damnâ€"it must be broken again. It's always running an hour fast!"
This cracked me up. :D


Quote from: Connor on May 26, 2011, 12:13:30 PM
I wish it was possible to punch some through a computer screen.

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Sad Panda

A man was staring at his 100 year old grandfather clock that had been working since it was made. A few hours earlier it stopped working for no apparent reason.

"Why aren't you working?" the man asked.
"My hands are tied!" the clock responded.

White Angel

from iPod application "Sex jokes" ;D

Quote from: Insomnom on February 27, 2011, 12:09:50 PM
Ha. Poor bull.



A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman.
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" 


"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."


Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"


"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. 


"What's it telling you now?"


"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties…"


The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!" 


The man exclaims, "damnâ€"it must be broken again. It's always running an hour fast!"