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Good Trip, Bad Trip

Although my trip is great, and I feel so invigorated, i sit here debating
Whether or not i should stop - but i can\'t, my life will always be the same.
As i lay here, higher than my imagination can fly
My mind is in another place, and i love it. I can only hope i don\'t die.
I soon realise that my flight is dropping altitude
The pain is still gone but now i feel sick
Sick to my stomache - these drugs are powerful in large doses
I don\'t care yet - my mind is flying through red roses.

I saw death for the first time
My life was decaying
My body was cold and numb
My head was taking me away from reality
I saw a light I walked towards it hoping this nightmare would be over
Yet the nightmare I lived in was real and there was no way out
My life was ending each step I took
I thought about the good and bad times
I thought about the people I love friends family my Mom
I did not want to die yet the body was full of dangerous chemicals
My mouth was dry I could not swallow the pain
I could not breathe my body was shaking my head spinning into hell
I couldn\'t move my cries for help were useless for I could not talk
I was choking in my own sins I was lying on the floor ready to die
No tears came out of my eyes no emotions were shown for I was weak and helpless
I was given aid by the chance of luck it had saved me once before and it would not let me die
The devil.... he stood by, he walked me out of the light back into my own body
I was starting to gain control of the drug overdose and I fought death
I fought for my life and I did win and I felt proud of waking up
I woke up the nightmare was over I made it through although I did not remember anything
with a nose stained of blood, I woke up my body weak from the pain
I was alive and I regret having evil take control of me.

? Pharmacist J

----
I started outside the circle,
so desperate to belong.
And soon I was accepted,
but it's a fantasy gone wrong.
I say they make me happy,
and they do, for a bit,
But once I leave reality,
I need a second hit.

Pills bring happiness,
Or so it seems,
But right now i've only found sadness,
My life is like a bunch of horrible movie scenes,
Where the star always dies,
But unfortunately for me, I am the star... or atleast in my dreams...
Where i find myself mixed up in pills, alcohol and sex.

I wake up every morning,
And last nite's on my mind,
I think, "what will today bring"?
But as i do I find....
That no matter how I deny it,
The truth is here to stay.
A chemical depression
that may never go away.

It's like a rollercoaster,
at first I feel so high.
But what comes up must come down,
and when it does I die.
Inside I die a terrible death,
my mind is so confused.
And once I reach this lonely place,
I know i'm sure to lose.

So I take some more the next time,
almost searching for myself,
But soon I need two more or three,
it's the only thing to help!
I look at all my friends now,
and see how they've become,
But I cannot see that I'm the same,
Alas, the drugs have won.

This battle rages onwards,
this war will never end.
For now my only freedom,
comes from the drugs on which I so depend.
But this is not real freedom,
their grip has taken hold.
The first thing on my mind now,
is the last deal that I sold.

It's so hard to escape now,
it's a whole world in itself,
I try to find an exit,
but the only thing to help,
Is another four or five pain killers,
so the pain will go away.
But once I start I can't stop
Drugs, please make this go away.

? Pharmacist J
----
I hope you enjoyed. If you enjoy my poems please spread the word about my work.

What i'm about to show you IS MY LIFE! It's plain and simple. My life may prove to be very upsetting to some of you. I have spent over a week working on this, I hope you like it.

Enjoy.

-------------------

Sitting in front of my desk and my stomach is turning

A night without a shutdown,this line left my nose burning

No sense of thought ran through this morning

Never thought a night with my family could be so boring

My loved ones around me stared at my pale face

What many don't know is that I'm going through my infamous drug phase

The hunger for some help has left my mind

Look inside my void, there's nothing to find

My engine is running but I'm in the passenger's seat

I could open the car door and jump for retreat

But I stay inside as I see the light appear

I regain consciousness jumped seats and started to steer to the clear

Everyday I wake up and it's the f*cking same

Don't know what happened yesterday

But I know that I feel real lame

I grab the bottle, the alcohol and plate

Apologize to you for coming in late

Minutes after I feel so much better

Popped a pill after I wrote that last line...

Maybe even decide to write you a letter

If only I had the power of will

To move beyond these stupid little f*cking pills

I'm glad you can't see me like this....,

Dad

But I still miss the feel of your love when I was young

I think if you were still around

You wouldn't be happy with the sight you found

I've fallen in this way too deep

Hours pass and I need two more Morphine's

Wandering through life half asleep

My friends almost cheer for my addiction, or so it seems...

And it seems to fill me with violent envy

As I sit down and contemplate my my next high

I realize how powerless I now really am

I'm just a slave to this dumb addiction

Killing everyone with my mindless affliction....

**Chorus**
Don't you come near me cause my inner thoughts are gettin' the best of me
I drink my drink and smoke my weed and pop my extacy.
Then snort a line, and pop a pill to finish the recipe, this means
I'm really letting the beast within get the best of me
**/Chorus** X2

I do miss Kristen, my thoughts have one question...

why the f*ck did you lie to me?

Why the f*ck did you choose him?

Why the f*ck do i still feel pain, you see....?

f*ck it, i'll just sip my gin...

What ever happened to the love that I once knew

To everything I had at the time,

To the things that I would say and do,

To everything that made me who I was

I don't remember, but I know it was something

I couldn't have felt that way just because...!

What was it that kept me from being so sad

What was it again, I kind of forgot

But I want it again, I want what I had

I loved it so much Beccause it made me happy

It changed me for those hours in time

My life seemed so different, and the colors were trippy

But what was it?...........

Well, I know exactly what it is

It's my love,

It's my happiness,

But I swear I'm not a drug addict

Don't tell......but it's my Ecstasy,

My psychedelic E

I love them,

I just love what they do,

The colors,

The feeling,

And all the thoughts I have with them

It's been over a two months now

And I miss them so much

I want them again,

I want my Ex,

I want you,

My psychedelic Ecstasy...

**Chorus**
Don't you come near me cause my inner thoughts are gettin' the best of me
I drink my drink and smoke my weed and pop my extacy.
Then snort a line, and pop a pill to finish the recipe, this means
I'm really letting the beast within get the best of me
**/Chorus** X2

I have a bunch of pills,

some are made of liquid

and some give me the chills.

It's hard to filter out which ones I need

and to take the ones prescribed to my family,

but it's okay --

but anyway

I'll take them all

and be high all day.

it's simply another visit,

so come and see me -

I'm out of my house

and living by the sea.

I've lost my medication

and it's causing a sensation,

I don't know what to do or what to say.

The pills will wear off some day.

But not to-day, another day, is that okay?

Is that okay with you?

I'll find a replacement,

there's some things hiding in my basement -

I'll go inside and check them out

I'll overdose and hold my doubt --

but at the same time I need my medication.

I'm making accusations,

but don't give admiration for my loss.

I need no dramatization

and maybe less fascination --

but being on drugs is so much fun

even when I don't know what is what,

now look what you have done.

God damn the thrill of mental asphixiation.

? Pharmacist J.

--------------------------------------

This is of nothing but everything

---
This is of Nothing,
blank stares and colors of pills
Space and time
and a sky without stars
Lukewarm water
and transparent thoughts
Generic ideas
and white cotton shirts


   
This is of Nothing,
Letters in invisible ink
from forgotten lovers
Footprints in the dust
and wrinkles left from smiles
Conversations once rehearsed
but forgotten in time of need


This is of nothing
Short term memory minds
a massively imaginative genius
clear glass and morphine pills
Repress the pain
Breakups revamp these feelings
Their is no running

This is of Nothing,
cities of imagination and worlds made from glass
Music for the deaf
Pictures from the blind
a sweethearts death
obscured by time
Maturity to a child
and a light to the drifting
This is of Everything
Nothing and a quantity of no importance
This is the lack or absence of anything at all.
Or is it?

Pharmacist J

---

Please if you're reading this, give me feedback of what you thought. I'd really appreciate it!!

Hello, my name is Pharmacist J and I obviously enjoy writing poems and songs. I write about drugs and the abusing of prescription medicines because for me, sometimes I feel it's an easy escape. What people don't understand is what I try to communicate through my work. A lot of people think drug abusers are bad people, or they have really unfortunate lives; sometimes this may be true but for the most part my life really isn't all that bad!

I hope when you read my work, you can make a connection between you and I. I hope that you can feel and understand what I'm going through, and how it's affecting me. I also hope, if you already don't write poetry, that I will be able to influence you positively into starting up the hobby of poetry. The real reason behind me doing drugs is unknown, even to me. All I know is that they give me the ability to write up some amazing work, and for that reason I'm somewhat glad! I do hope I can end this pill popping propaganda, and get my life on the right road!

Board Rules:

Forum Rules apply.

Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

P.S: PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK! Your comments and feedback are what really keep me going. I love to hear what you guy's have to say, so please, don't be shy, and leave what you think! :)

I'm not exactly sure whether you'd call this a poem, a rap or a story that just rhymes. Whatever the case my be, I presume that this is my most story-like creation. I wrote this yesterday, Thursday, June 12th, 2008. Feedback is welcomed, PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK!

Another Day
---

Another day, a new start

I pop a pill to start my day off

Do these really make me smart?

Take too many at once, and i cough

Lovely feeeling, and doze off

An hour later, the Morphine is fading

I set here debating

Whether or not i should pop a 30 M G

Yes! That's it! That's my key

To numbness, and no feeling

Meet up with some friends at the peak of my high

At this time, i'm low on my supply

Ask a friend, hey, wanna sell me some pills?

While he answers, his words blurred, I feel as if i'm floating on black-brazil hills

My body feels weightless, pain numb, yes, these pills do fullfill

I return home, noone about

Pop another pill, lay on my bed and zone out

Pain found it's home again

Deep within, i feel i must relieve oneself

Why do I punish myself?

I know that's fucked up to say

How many times have I visited this place?

How many happy pills must I take?

I wish I could rip off my face

Still being alive is my biggest mistake

The happy pills are getting me high

My chest is so tight

I think I'm going to die

To my head is a phone, 'Someone help me, Please! '

I'm leaving this life, theres things undone

I fall down to my knees

To my head is my hand with a gun.

---

? Pharmacist J

Please leave comments.

Hi. I wrote this poem in less than a half an hour. Mostly testing myself to see how fast i could write a poem. Please leave feedback.

Morphine
--
These pills in my hand,
   
are all that sustain me.
   
They'll kill me slowly,
   
and give me mercy.

   
My escape and release,
   
they'll be all that I need.
   
When tonight I take them
   
and disappear completely.

But until the Morphine,

Decides to finally kick-in,

Oh wait, I can feel that feeling...

That feeling, that takes me higher than my ceiling,

I'll sit here, mind blurred,

Numb, and painless

As the morphine surges through my vein

I wish this feeling would sustain,

Forever and ever, ridding my thoughts of stress,

Sitting here completely high, mindless, distraught and you could guees...


Once and for all, I'll take my leave.
   
This will be my pain relieved.


? Pharmacist J

My light is pills
--
I'm caught in a game
I cant seem to fight
Each time i try
I lose my guiding light

I need my light to function
I need my light to live
Without my light i'm nothing
It's to bad my light is pills

Each time i try to stop the ride
Each time i stop the game
I come down so low i cant get up
Without my light again

I cant live in the darkness
The silence is too shrill
My light guides and sustains me
Though it breaks down my will

Its purpose is to use me
Its purpose is to kill
I readily let it abuse me
I need it each time i fall ill

My light sustains me though it pains me
It brings me through the night
Dark sets in but i pop a pill
And the evening turns bright

I know i have a weakness
I know that it could kill
I know that what i do just isn't right
But I still pop another pill
And although i try
I slip and i slide
I just cannot win this fight
Please, show me the light.

? Pharmacist J

Drugged Up

I spend my hours floating low on depression
But when they all leave the house, its at my own discretion
Either I could break things and get rid of my aggression
Or I could take pills and begin the compression

I choose the latter, begin to unwind
And grab at the bottles -- arrows align
Morphine, Oxycontin, Valium fine;
Sedatives, Ecstasy, Xanax divine

I lay on the couch, my stomach a-flutter
My words are slurred, the only sound a mutter
I look around, everything's a clutter
And I think to myself nothing, only a shudder

This is my life and I'll live it full
Instead of living under my parents' rule:
To remain from drugs and stay in school
I say f*ck it, I'll live and die a fool

But here comes the insane part of me again:
Not that I am astray from sin,
But is it so bad I should fight from within?
But I'm so drugged up I don't care if I win.

? Pharmacist J

Regret this Consistency

My pain is great,
My pain is crushing,
I'm in a state,
Where I am gushing.

I pop pills every night,
I take five or more,
They make me feel alright,
But then I go soar.

The pills make me happy,
Not much else will,
If I don't have them I feel crappy,
That's all I have for my fill.

Morning comes,
The overwhelming mind state appears,
Pop a few making everything numb,
An hour later, I don't know where to steer.

The road i'm traveling,
I feel I'm battling,
Weapon of choice; Ecstasy,
Why can't you understand? I simply regret this consistency.


? Pharmacist J

--

Feedback is welcomed.

This is a work in progress! I'm going to continue writing, and brainstorming in this post. Check back, and keep up-to-date!

The Drug

So how can anyone stop the drug?
When so deep inside, it's something you love
Whatever one it may be
It traps you and then you can't break free

You think it will be only once in a while
Just 2 or 3 times a week
But it suddenly consumes you
Now it's the only thing you seek

Before long, you realize you're addicted
You know it's wrong, and so inside you're conflicted
You stop caring about anything else
You even stop caring about yourself

You begin to hate yourself
Because you'll do anything for the cash
You stop caring about living
And you treat yourself like trash

Some of us could overdose
And lose the thing we should treasure the most
Or we may cut too deep
And some of us don't even want to eat
We just might want another drink
Then we're numb, so we don't have to feel or think

? Pharmacist J

I'm not done yet, I added a little bit. Still in the progress of thinking up things.

I would like to take a second and point something out to all of you whom of which are reading this. As you can tell, drugs can alter your sense of thoughts; please don't ever try them.

Go away...

Pain, go away...
On my heart you seem to prey.
Go away,
Heart you prey...

Tears streaming down this face
To me they seem such a disgrace
Tears on face
Such disgrace

Old Man Time, help me out
A new heart I need, no doubt
Help me out
New heart no doubt

For this one broke, past repair...
I have to say in such dispair.
Past repair,
Such dispair...

Pills, make me forget this world
Say I in a ball tightly curled
Forget this world,
Ball tightly curled

God, make this torture end
For have I almost lost a friend
Torture end
Lost a friend

As I sit, rocking myself to sleep
I know that pills will make it stop; I weep
Rock to sleep
Yes, I weep

Yes pills can take it away
So as I sit in anguish; I pray
Take it away..Take it away..
I pray

Pain killers aren't strong enough for my soul
Maybe I need more, on the ground I roll
Aren't for my soul
Ground I roll

Blurry room
Heart a-boom
Dosed to my Doom
Here comes the gloom
Pained position I assume
Death over me seems to loom
Here comes the weepers to my tomb
Not too many, I would be right to presume
Earth takes me back; hard dirt does me consume

Pain Killers strong enough
For my troubles were really tough
Not strong enough
Really tough

How through my troubles can I win
While my battle lies deep within
Can I win
Battle within

Weakness comes
My heart-ache this is its sums
Comes
Its sums

Pain too strong,
To me, I thought it shouldn't belong
Am I strong
No.. I don't belong

The pain can't mend
This is the end

? Pharmacist J

---

Feedback is welcomed!  ???

I do not encourage the use of drugs, please do not try them.

I wrote this song while down, and coming off of whatever i took that day...

These Pills

Temptations have got the best of me

The problem are these pills and recipes

That f*ck you up, yet I come back for more

I'm acting up, like a f*cking whore

Letting these Pills get the best of me

Mind set, and normality are getting ugly

Yet i'm stuck craving, wanting, needing

Needing that high, popping Ecstacy

Tried Oxycontin for the first time

Couldn't even walk in a f*cking straight line

Trippen, numb, dumb, lovely feeling. You'd think this would be a sign

This life I live I might not die if let lone

If they find out, I won't ever be able to return home

Love my experience? This is my fucked up story

My regrets, this is not my idea of living

I'll keep trying to get these pills, even with the way i'm feeling

I've only one thing to say to you while in this zone

Kids, please don't try this at home


? Pharmacist J

---

Leave your feedback please. I am in the process of writing some more, if you're interested check back later!

I do NOT encourage the use of drugs. I am indulged in such a thing, and i write easily about it. This is me expressing myself, please give me feedback.

222
I take two in the morning
for the lull in my head
when my heart beats faster
I can get out of bed
a smile comes easy
when you know what to do
just a glass of water
and a 222

I take two at lunch
to get me through till four
the rat race isn?t noticeable
when you can?t feel sore
as others suffer around me
I tell them what to do
drink a glass of water
and a 222

I take two in the evening
when I?m watching TV
I see the sex and violence
but it can?t hurt me
a little bit of sleep
when the day is through
but first a glass of water
and a 222


? Pharmacist J

A 222, is street slang for strong Pain Killers.