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My fmylife funniest post:
1. Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML
Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML
"Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML"
Wow. Owned? :o
Quote from: Coleshot1 on October 25, 2009, 08:03:50 PM
"Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML"
Wow. Owned? :o
Yeah that was hilarious.
Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML
HAAHAH this is hilarious!
Today, I got my phone taken up in school. The principal looked through my pictures, and found naked pictures of a girl on there. He called me into the office and tried to get me to tell him who it was. I had to explain to my principal the girl in the pictures was his daughter. FML
Quote from: God Colin on October 27, 2009, 04:26:18 PM
HAAHAH this is hilarious!
Today, I got my phone taken up in school. The principal looked through my pictures, and found naked pictures of a girl on there. He called me into the office and tried to get me to tell him who it was. I had to explain to my principal the girl in the pictures was his daughter. FML
They're not allowed to look at your phone after they take it. It's not their property. Lawsuit much? :P
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML
Today, I found out that brushing your teeth with the opposite hand stimulates brain activity in the morning. I tried it and stabbed myself in the back of the throat. I'm wide awake now. FML
by the way zack, not every school has that policy mine does, but my friends' doesn't