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Poem: Life of Sin

Started by brianc, October 04, 2011, 09:38:08 PM

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brianc

Hello,

I'm still keeping up with my poetry.

I hope you all are enjoying all of my work as I am working my hardest.

Here we go.


Living this life of sin is only the beginning, never ending.
I live the life of the unholy, I do things my own way.
I have a heart but yet it fails to work, I dwell where the demons lurk.
Stuck in the pit of the damned, all you people are going to get rammed.
Rammed by the horns of the devil, I dare you try to get on my level.
I'm a beast as you can see, try to test me, think your the best of thee?
I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot.
I'm living a life of sin like I have no end, I stay true from where I began.
I slit of the wrist of my own, just to get a loan.
Damnation is calling me on the phone, I'm not the only one.
I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run.
I'm coming for you as you can see, you will never get the best of me.
I come yet again to where I began, this is never the end, yet only my life of sin.

Please still continue to support my work.

I know I'm extremely active on my poetry but please try to keep up with my active mind.

Check the forums constantly for more poems of mine.

Regards,
Brian Crowell





Summoning

Nice poem bro, looking to seeing more.

Please check my Goals thread which is located here.



M I K E


Jake

The other 4%: Uber Epicness.



OHIOISONFIRE

I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

brianc

Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 05, 2011, 12:47:35 PM
I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

Hello,

My question to you, how is my rhyme scheme not creative?
I wrote this from my heart!
You dare to insult me like that?
I don't read poetry I make my own.
I hope you get it through your mind.
Do not try to test me.

I have been writing poetry for years, and you try to tell me that it's not good?
Seriously, I know it's your opinion, but yet you did not read the poetry for what it actually is meaning.

Yes, I know I put a few lines in that you might not understand.

"I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot"
Meaning I spit more than you mind can understand.
"I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run"
Meaning that I'm the one to set you aside because you trying to hate.

Meaning your the one that fell into the trap of my poem.

Next time listen to my poetry, don't downgrade it because you cannot understand.
I bet you will fall into more of my poetry traps.

All I'm saying is, be more careful how you try to comment.

Regards,
Brian Crowell




Summoning

I've read this 4 times now. It's absolutely amazing, nice work Brian. :)

Please check my Goals thread which is located here.



OHIOISONFIRE

#7
Quote from: brianc on October 05, 2011, 05:25:17 PM
Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 05, 2011, 12:47:35 PM
I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

Hello,

My question to you, how is my rhyme scheme not creative?
I wrote this from my heart!
You dare to insult me like that?
I don't read poetry I make my own.
I hope you get it through your mind.
Do not try to test me.

I have been writing poetry for years, and you try to tell me that it's not good?
Seriously, I know it's your opinion, but yet you did not read the poetry for what it actually is meaning.

Yes, I know I put a few lines in that you might not understand.

"I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot"
Meaning I spit more than you mind can understand.
"I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run"
Meaning that I'm the one to set you aside because you trying to hate.

Meaning your the one that fell into the trap of my poem.

Next time listen to my poetry, don't downgrade it because you cannot understand.
I bet you will fall into more of my poetry traps.

All I'm saying is, be more careful how you try to comment.

Regards,
Brian Crowell

umad

I was just trying to give a little constructive criticism from one poet to another. Sorry if I didn't inflate your ego like the 12-year olds who inhabit these forums; I was just being real.

And as I said before, those rhymes are corny as hell, it just makes your poem look less professional. That's the kind of rhyme I'd imagine my 12 year old sister to make, not a 'professional poet'. Oh, and a big GOOD FIGHT to your title of Grammar Nazi, you type like a dyslexic kid with a mild case of autism.

Joker

Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 06, 2011, 01:47:57 AM
Quote from: brianc on October 05, 2011, 05:25:17 PM
Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 05, 2011, 12:47:35 PM
I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

Hello,

My question to you, how is my rhyme scheme not creative?
I wrote this from my heart!
You dare to insult me like that?
I don't read poetry I make my own.
I hope you get it through your mind.
Do not try to test me.

I have been writing poetry for years, and you try to tell me that it's not good?
Seriously, I know it's your opinion, but yet you did not read the poetry for what it actually is meaning.

Yes, I know I put a few lines in that you might not understand.

"I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot"
Meaning I spit more than you mind can understand.
"I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run"
Meaning that I'm the one to set you aside because you trying to hate.

Meaning your the one that fell into the trap of my poem.

Next time listen to my poetry, don't downgrade it because you cannot understand.
I bet you will fall into more of my poetry traps.

All I'm saying is, be more careful how you try to comment.

Regards,
Brian Crowell

umad

I was just trying to give a little constructive criticism from one poet to another. Sorry if I didn't inflate your ego like the 12-year olds who inhabit these forums; I was just being real.

And as I said before, those rhymes are corny as hell, it just makes your poem look less professional. That's the kind of rhyme I'd imagine my 12 year old sister to make, not a 'professional poet'. Oh, and a big GOOD FIGHT to your title of Grammar Nazi, you type like a dyslexic kid with a mild case of autism.
No trolling please.
If you don't like the poem why are you trolling him? And why you are flaming?
Just Press back..Simple.



brianc

Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 06, 2011, 01:47:57 AM
Quote from: brianc on October 05, 2011, 05:25:17 PM
Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 05, 2011, 12:47:35 PM
I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

Hello,

My question to you, how is my rhyme scheme not creative?
I wrote this from my heart!
You dare to insult me like that?
I don't read poetry I make my own.
I hope you get it through your mind.
Do not try to test me.

I have been writing poetry for years, and you try to tell me that it's not good?
Seriously, I know it's your opinion, but yet you did not read the poetry for what it actually is meaning.

Yes, I know I put a few lines in that you might not understand.

"I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot"
Meaning I spit more than you mind can understand.
"I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run"
Meaning that I'm the one to set you aside because you trying to hate.

Meaning your the one that fell into the trap of my poem.

Next time listen to my poetry, don't downgrade it because you cannot understand.
I bet you will fall into more of my poetry traps.

All I'm saying is, be more careful how you try to comment.

Regards,
Brian Crowell

umad

I was just trying to give a little constructive criticism from one poet to another. Sorry if I didn't inflate your ego like the 12-year olds who inhabit these forums; I was just being real.

And as I said before, those rhymes are corny as hell, it just makes your poem look less professional. That's the kind of rhyme I'd imagine my 12 year old sister to make, not a 'professional poet'. Oh, and a big GOOD FIGHT to your title of Grammar Nazi, you type like a dyslexic kid with a mild case of autism.


Hello,


I want to say that you better watch your mouth, I bet you 10\10 you get banned for that.


In fact I do have Autism. It's called Asperger Syndrome.


Not professional again you say?


You have the whole forum against you.


Do not make fun of people with Autism, you will get the whole world even against you.


Think before you comment just as I said.


That one may be the end of your life on WorldScape forums and on the game.


Don't say anything about "good fight server not online"


When the server turns on I'm sure they will deal with you.


Also furthermore, screen shot so good fight.


Regards,
Brian Crowell




OHIOISONFIRE

Quote from: Joker_ on October 07, 2011, 03:02:47 AM
Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 06, 2011, 01:47:57 AM
Quote from: brianc on October 05, 2011, 05:25:17 PM
Quote from: OHIOISONFIRE on October 05, 2011, 12:47:35 PM
I wasn't a fan. The rhyme scheme wasn't very creative and a few of the rhmyes were corny at best. I suggest reading some Poe or maybe find some old poetry from these very forums, since we had at least one or two decent poets submit their work here. Don't give up! It's my belief that anyone can write, you just gotta keep at it!

Hello,

My question to you, how is my rhyme scheme not creative?
I wrote this from my heart!
You dare to insult me like that?
I don't read poetry I make my own.
I hope you get it through your mind.
Do not try to test me.

I have been writing poetry for years, and you try to tell me that it's not good?
Seriously, I know it's your opinion, but yet you did not read the poetry for what it actually is meaning.

Yes, I know I put a few lines in that you might not understand.

"I think not, I'll cook your soul in a pot"
Meaning I spit more than you mind can understand.
"I'm the one to put you on a hot dog bun, best you be on the run"
Meaning that I'm the one to set you aside because you trying to hate.

Meaning your the one that fell into the trap of my poem.

Next time listen to my poetry, don't downgrade it because you cannot understand.
I bet you will fall into more of my poetry traps.

All I'm saying is, be more careful how you try to comment.

Regards,
Brian Crowell

umad

I was just trying to give a little constructive criticism from one poet to another. Sorry if I didn't inflate your ego like the 12-year olds who inhabit these forums; I was just being real.

And as I said before, those rhymes are corny as hell, it just makes your poem look less professional. That's the kind of rhyme I'd imagine my 12 year old sister to make, not a 'professional poet'. Oh, and a big GOOD FIGHT to your title of Grammar Nazi, you type like a dyslexic kid with a mild case of autism.
No trolling please.
If you don't like the poem why are you trolling him? And why you are flaming?
Just Press back..Simple.

I only started trolling when he verbally slapped me in face when I was trying to give a little constructive criticism. If he were professional, as he claims, he would have simply said 'thank you' or something along those lines. So when he got hostile, I got hostile as well.

Jake

Both of you need to stop flaming each other, It'll get you nowhere. Also don't even mention people's disabilities it will just start a huge flame war and not many people will agree with you.

Locked.